I turned on some random “chill calm music” mix on YouTube to get this writing done instead of my usual Bon Iver album. On the thumbnail it said “Published 4 years ago” in that gray-ish YouTube text. I clicked it anyway because 11,000,000 hits usually means it’s a decent compilation.
I moved this Chrome window to the right side of the screen and on the left side is YouTube in Safari. I noticed the published date… May 21, 2012. And in a fraction of a section a thought crossed my mind. “Ha! YouTube got it wrong. This wasn’t published in 2012. 2012 was like last year.”
Whelp. Apparently my brain has not caught up the calendar. I think it only gets worse from here. I was chatting with someone a couple years younger than me today. She was complaining about turning 30, as I sit here literally 5 months exactly from my 30th. And I’m thinking, “Kid, chill. You have plenty of time.” But maybe that’s because my brain was still thinking it was 2013 and I was 26 again.
The past year I’ve had my minor freakouts over the big 3-0. I know it’s just a number and frankly I kinda don’t really care anymore. 30. 20. 40. It’s not going to change me. There aren’t these self-imposed goals by 30 I had that I’m not hitting. Any societal norm about where someone “should be” at 30 I don’t know what those are and if I did they wouldn’t change how I feel.
I’m not sure where this is coming from tonight. Just doing a bit of free writing while the last bits of this DC Brau On the Wings of Armageddon moves out of my system. That’s all I have for the night.