There appears to be a ton of rust on my writing muscle. I’ve had this email drafted to myself open for the past 15 minutes. A cup of coffee, Snapping some friends, a handful of tweets and emailing my wife about something that’s the furthest thing from important I realized what I was doing. I turned on some Japanese rock and now I’m focused back on the present; on this writing.
The meditation app I use, Calm, keeps a calendar of when you meditate. If you meditate on a day the date will have a green circle around it. Something that has got away from me around the same time I took my brief break from writing here was meditation. Are they related? Probably.
It’s one of those things you do and 95% of the time it feels pointless. For me, I want to immediately go to sleep after (and I tend to take a 20-minute power nap which isn’t the worst thing). I guess that’s what happens when you meditate around 4:30pm. Anyway back to my point. 5% of the time I feel an immediate effect. I feel focused or more chill or calmed down. The rest of the time I’m like, “why did I just waste 10 minutes sitting uncomfortably on my couch?”
What I need to remind myself is that the benefits aren’t about those 10 minutes or the minutes that immediately follow. It’s about the practice of focusing back into the moment — like me a few minutes ago realizing I was not focusing on the task at hand, writing this post, then coming back into the moment and going from there. The last little green circle was on Monday. I’m 46ish hours removed from that meditation session. Did that particular session help me today? Not sure. But the recurring practice, even if it’s sporadic, helped. Because of it I got this writing in. And the benefit of that? Ha, well, I’m not sure of that either.
That’s it out of me today. Painters are coming tomorrow to paint some rooms. I have to finish up a video for a client then prep everything for the painters. It’s going to be a jam-packed evening.